Blondes Going Into Extinction!?!?!?

The other day I was watching the Colbert Report (oh how I love that show, I think I would marry Steven Colbert if I could) and he began talking about a report put out by the World Health Organization that blondes will be extinct in the next 200 years! So as a blonde myself I started to freak out. Would my kind one day be extinct? I mean this is the WHO saying this, not some tabloid, AND it was published in the New York Times, a reputible newspaper. So of course I did a little investigative reporting into the matter and found out that the story was a hoax. However, I still found this idea interesting. So I decided to read the articles and reports and this is what I found out:

According to a study done by experts in Germany all blondes will be extinct by the year 2202. find it ironic that the study was done by Germans, lovers of all things aryan, even though in reality most of the aryan race was brunette, but whatever. The BBC News article also states these experts "predict the last truly natural blonde will be born in Finland - the country with the highest proportion of blondes." They say that there are simply not enough blondes left in the world to perpetuate the gene past another two centuries. They even go on to blame women who dye their hair blonde, so called "bottle blondes," for stealing away the men that natural blonde women need to continue the race, lol.

The Times Online took the story far back in time, to the caveman, with their article "Cavegirls Were First Blondes to Have Fun." In the article they explain that "north European women evolved blonde hair and blue eyes at the end of the Ice Age to make them stand out from their rivals at a time of fierce competition for scarce males" when men were hunter-gatherers and often did not return from long hunting trips. "The increase in competition for males led to rapid change as women struggled to evolve the most alluring qualities......this theory is supported by studies which show blonde hair is an indicator for high oestrogen levels in women." This part is crazy interesting in my opinion, because I would never have thought of that. So thanks to my blonde loving caveman ancestors I am blonde today =)

My other discovery was in regards to how blondes are percieved. As I read about the extinction of blondes I began to wonder, if blondes are going to be extinct, does this also mean that blonde jokes will die off as well? What a tragedy that would be (ahem, sarcasm). Wikipedia suggests that we associate blonde hair with young children, causing us to assume adult blondes are unintelligent (idk if i believe that, but whatever). I think everyone has blonde moments, however, us blondes are just pinned with the stereotype. Some of this stereotype is attributed to "Marilyn Monroe and Jean Harlow, known as 'the Blond Bombshell' and 'the Original Blond Bombshell', respectively. Both frequently portrayed 'classic' dumb blondes in their films, yet were known privately as intelligent women. Jean Harlow is often credited as being the person who made it acceptable in Western culture for ordinary women to artificially bleach their hair blonde without being perceived as prostitutes." Thank you Jean Harlow for making it acceptable for women to dye their hair and not be considered a prostitute, because without you us natural blondes might be mistaken for those hair dying whores ;)

So I suggest we look into the "selective breeding program to save blondes" suggested by the brilliant and hilarious Steven Colbert. My advice to all you males out there is, if you're blonde, marry a blonde and save the race, and if your brunette, marry a blonde, this may be your only chance. Get one while they last =)

-TINK